Return to Chippewa
by therealfarklenation
Summary: After an incident at school, seventeen year old Wednesday Addams and Joel Glicker are forced back to the fully-restored Camp Chippewa. There, the two are involuntarily given the job of camp counselors, as well as face old foes and new allies... Can they get through the whole summer?
1. Snap Snap

_**They're creepy and they're kooky**_

 _ **mysterious and spooky**_

 _ **they're all together ooky**_

 _ **and now they're seventeen-**_

 _ **Hey guys, welcome to my new Addams Family fic! I really wanted to write something during the fall/Halloween/Thanksgiving season, as well as write another Wednesday/Joel teenager fanfic, so here it is! I hope you all enjoy it!**_

* * *

"They're here, sir."

"Who's here, Ms. Harris?"

"Who else, Greg?"

The Dean massaged his temples, sighing in defeat. It's really become a weekly ritual. Somehow, in the most bizarre of circumstances, these three students always seem to stir trouble, "Send them in…"

The squeamish one stumbled into the office first. Joel Glicker. Although, he really shouldn't be so anxious about this visit to the Dean's Office, he's had to been issued at least two suspensions over the last semester, not to mention numerous detentions. A shame, really. He's a bright young man, raised by some very well-to-do, Jewish parents: the building blocks of model citizen; the perfect setup towards a prosperous life… But, like many other high schoolers before him, the boy made friends with the wrong people. Dean Greg Douglas really felt sorry for the guy.

Joel stood before Douglas' desk, waiting for his permission to sit. The Dean gestured to the chair across from him. Hastily, Glicker took his seat, and adjusted his glasses (which were quite big for his face).

Not long after, the second student stalked into the office, wearing her signature black dress. Her raven hair was currently hanging over her shoulders, wavy from the braids of the previous Thursday. She showed no fear toward the man in front of her, even smirking at the Dean as she took the chair next to Joel. Mr. Douglas frowned.

Wednesday Addams.

She was the leader of Oakview High's reckless trio, the master behind every scheme, the instiller of all things wicked (at least, at this school)… She was the one everybody feared, students and faculty alike. Dean Douglas sighed once more as Ms. Harris, his secretary, closed the door behind them.

The Dean of students took of his glasses, visibly tired from a long day of playing solitaire and writing fake memos, "Where's the third one?"

"Pugsley?" Wednesday chuckled to herself, "They finally got him…"

"What?"

"He's in juvy, Greg."

Douglas leaned back into his chair, grabbing the bottle of aspirin from his drawer, "I told you before, Ms. Addams. You're to refer to me as Mr. Douglas."

"But we see eachother every week," She spoke in monotone, "I believe it's about time we skip the formalities."

He popped the aspirin into his mouth, not bothering to wash it down with water, "Just- Just tell me why they sent you here…"

Wednesday opened her mouth to speak, Mr. Douglas quickly stopped her, "Not you," He then pointed to Joel, "You. Information. Now."

Joel gulped, wiping the sweat from his forehead. He looked at the Dean, then back at Wednesday, who shrugged.

"Well… There- there may or may not have been an incident in the AP Bio lab…"

The Dean's face went white, "What _kind_ of incident?"

Joel squirmed in his seat, he turned to Wednesday for support, she nodded for him to continue. He coughed nervously, "Well- We- We decided to- You know, because we finished our pig dissection anyway… We…"

Wednesday rolled her eyes, cutting him off, "We circumcised Mr. Wells."

Dean Douglas popped open the bottle of aspirin again, taking two more, "My God…" He whispered under his breath.

The two teenagers sat before him, quiet, allowing the man to take in the information. Mr. Wells was the AP and Honors Biology teacher at Oakview High. He's received multiple awards, national, even international, for his teaching abilities. It was an amazing honor for Oakview to obtain such a man to serve as their Biology professor.

Mr. Douglas then grabbed the school handbook, rapidly flipping through the pages.

"What are you doing?" Wednesday asked.

"Looking for our sexual-offense code… There's one for teachers against students, but not- Not the other way around…"

Joel twiddled his thumbs, "Am I going to- to juvy?"

Wednesday turned toward her quivering boyfriend, "Neither of us are going to juvy."

"I don't belong in prison! Prison is for scum! For lowlifes!"

Wednesday gave him a deadpan stare, Joel corrected himself, "Except for Puglsey."

"Anyways," Wednesday reminded him, "Nobody can prove what we did."

Douglas froze, looking up from the handbook, "Excuse me?"

"Mr. Wells _passed_. Nobody can prove anything."

The Dean's expression displayed pure horror, "You- You didn't-"

She smirked once again at Mr. Douglas, "You're right. We didn't. He _passed_ out." She mumbled to herself, "Weakling…"

"Where is he now?"

"Still sitting at his desk, out cold," She responded, "Don't worry, he'll wake up thinking it was all a dream. He's been untied, everything has been cleaned, and the students won't dare talk… Well, except for one, hence this visit and all, but we took care of him."

Mr. Douglas needed no further information, he opened up another drawer, pulling out both Wednesday and Joel's disciplinary files, "Let's just see what the verdict will be then…" He started at the first offenses that have resulted in suspension, "Suspension #1, September 28th … Cause? Setting fire to the cafeteria."

Joel spoke up, "I was only smoking a cigar, I didn't think it would hurt anybody!"

A hint of a smile played on Wednesday's lips, remembering that day, "I know… That was why I put it in the lunch-lady's apron… A whole day without an injury? That should be a crime."

Douglas moved down the list, "Suspension #2, December 18th… Cause? Engaging in sexual intercourse inside an empty classroom…"

Wednesday shrugged, "It was more spacious than the janitor's closet…"

The Dean tried to ignore her comment, moving down the list again, "Alright, new semester… Suspension #1, February 14th… Cause? Replacing hamburgers with cow hearts in the lunch line."

"Cow hearts?" Joel asked his girlfriend, a little less timid around the Dean than when he first sat down, "The guy I got 'em from said they were the real deal… Damn it."

"Semester 2, Suspension #2, April 1st… Cause? Moving the corpses from the town morgue into the school library…" Dean Douglas shivered.

Wednesday tilted her head, "That one really is self-explanatory…"

"And that leads us to… Today," He wrote in the file, "Semester 2, Suspension #3, May 17th… Cause? Circumcision of a faculty member…" He looked back at the students, who sat innocently, "I don't know what else to do… Were you guys this much trouble at your past schools?"

"Yes." They both said, bluntly, not even bothering to think about their freshman and sophomore years.

He rubbed his temples again, "I really don't have any choice… Three suspensions in one semester amounts to expulsion…"

Joel sunk low into his chair. Wednesday shook her head, "There has to be some other way… Oakview was our last option for schooling. If we're expelled… I don't know what we'll do."

"What other choice do I have? You both have had so many chances to redeem yourselves" The Dean argued, "It's not like I can just make all of these suspensions go away."

"Actually, yes," She countered, "It's exactly like that. Now, I'm not one to beg for mercy, but do you think you can reconsider?"

Joel chipped in, "I can beg. I'll do anything, I swear."

Dean Douglas thought quietly to himself. It was definitely against school policy to get rid of the disciplinary history of students. But… But what if he could reverse it somehow? Give them a second chance? They don't deserve it (well, possibly Joel does)… But if he lets this one slide, they'll just go back to the same old routine. It was pointless.

Unless…

Unless their last chance at redemption changes them. Could he possibly change the hearts of these hardened teenagers? Turn them away from the dark side?

Douglas looked around the room from his office desk. On the walls there were posters of past athletic victories, alumni news stories, and school pennants for each graduating class. By the door was another filing cabinet.

He got up and walked over to the cabinet. Each drawer was specifically labeled: Semester Grades, Quarter Grades, Athletic Info, Service Projects…

That could work, Service Projects… He opened the drawer, pulling out the most recent flyer of service. Mr. Douglas smiled, walking back to the desk.

"Alright. This is your last chance," Douglas looked them in the eyes, "In my hands, I hold a service project. Randomly chosen from my drawer. You can either chose to do the project, and possibly turn your behavior around… Or I can have you both expelled. What will it be?"

"The project!" Joel picked, before Wednesday could say anything to change the Dean's mind.

Douglas was satisfied with himself, and looked down at the flyer, "Okay…" He read the information on the paper, "You both will be working for a summer camp a couple of hours away from here… You'll be consolers… Basically a babysitting job."

"Oh, joy…" Wednesday muttered.

Mr. Douglas looked up at the clock, it was already 3:40, "I suppose you two should head back home… It's supposed to storm this afternoon." He handed Wednesday the flyer, "Good luck on your finals. I hope we don't meet again this year."

* * *

The bus was long gone before the two teens were excused from the Dean's office, which meant they had to walk back to the Addams' mansion in the rain.

"Dreary day…" Wednesday remarked as they approached the gate to her home.

Joel smiled, "Sure is," He looked down at her hands, spotting the flyer, "Hey, where did Douglas say the camp was at?"

"He didn't," She handed him the flyer, which the Dean had neatly folded before they left, "Take a look, I guess."

Joel unfolded the flyer, and silently read.

 _Service Summer, 1997: Oakview High_

\- _Requirements: Students must be over the age of 16, and must have a valid source of identification (birth certificate, passport, drivers' liscence)._

\- _Work Hours and Dates: 8:00 AM – 8:00 PM, June 21_ _st_ _– July 26_ _th_

\- _Location: Camp Chippewa_

\- _Address: 147 Scottsman Road, Chippewa Bay, NY, 77340_

\- _We hope to see you there!_

"Ah, Shit."

* * *

 _ **Well? Like it? Hate it? LET ME KNOW IN THE REVIEWS! If you liked it, how about faving and following this story, eh? You don't have to, it's just a thought...**_

 _ **Next chapter should be out by next weekend (if I don't drown in homework)!**_


	2. PUBE!

**SOOO since everybody was commenting about how they wouldn't ever steal, I decided to change the chapter a little. Idk, i was being lazy when I wrote that chapter, and just figured I'd write whatever came to my mind. But the more i thought about it (after i posted, figures), the more i hated that i put the stealing thing in. So ima just change this. I hope ya dont mind.**

* * *

"Mother, I'm home!" Wednesday opened the door, Joel by her side.

"Good," Morticia called from upstairs, "Would you help me look for Pubert? He's meeting with the Cub Scouts tonight."

Joel closed the door behind them, surprised, "Your brother joined Scouts?"

"Don't be stupid." Wednesday answered, "He's meeting with the Scouts. They're having their summer toy-drive event-"

"And our little Pubert didn't want to miss the chance to offer some of his toys… Grandmama's old voodoo dolls, his miniature guillotine…" Wednesday's mother sighed as she gracefully descended down the stairs, "He's such a giving soul… Truly takes after your father."

Suddenly, an airborne sword flew right past Joel's ear, stabbing the wall behind him, "Speak of the devil…" Joel stared at the saber.

The mustachioed five-year-old dashed into the room, his hair was gelled back just like his father's, "Damn! I missed! I always miss!"

Joel looked down at the boy, now accustomed to the family's oddly violent behavior, he _has_ known them for five years, after all, "Keep practicing, it's all in the wrist."

"Joel!" Pubert cried, running up to his sister's boyfriend, who caught him mid-air.

"What's up, Bert?"

"No, no, no! I told you to call me Pube! Pube, Pube, Pube!"

"That's disgusting."

"Precisely."

Joel smiled and set the kindergartener down, retrieving the sword from the wall and handing it to him, "Your mom was looking for you."

Pubert turned to Morticia, "Yes mother?"

"You better get your shoes on, or we'll be late to the Scout's meeting." She warned.

He nodded and ran back up the stairs, Joel grinned yet again, "I like him."

"Try living with him." Wednesday monotonously replied.

Morticia then switched her attention to her daughter, "You're back a little later than usual?"

Lurch shuffled into the living room, Wednesday handed him her backpack, "We've had another meeting with Mr. Douglas."

"Gregory? What did he want this time?"

"Our summer." Joel answered, "He's sending us to Chippewa."

Morticia frowned, "How could he possibly do that to you? That's cruelty, abuse-"

"And not the good kind," Wednesday intervened, "We barely did anything wrong. Only circumcised the Biology Professor."

"Well, I'm calling the school when I get back," Her mother sighed, "Public school systems are getting too much power over their students…"

"It won't help." Wednesday explained, "The choice was either community service," She shivered in disgust, "Or expulsion."

She could tell her mother was still upset, but said nothing. Pubert marched down the stairs, following Lurch out of the house. Morticia watched as her youngest child danced in the storm, she turned to Wednesday and Joel, "I should be going. We'll talk about this later, with your father." Her mother grabbed the umbrella by the door.

"There really isn't any way out of it. All we have to do is get through a couple of torturous weeks of Summer Camp… Again."

Morticia opened the front door, "Well… Just remember what your Aunt Phobia always said…"

"Aunt Phobia?" Joel asked, "What did she say?"

"If you can't beat them, join them. Then you can destroy them from the inside out."

* * *

"You're really concerned about this." He mused, watching Wednesday do her homework, "I know it."

She looked up from her notebook, "I'm not concerned," She defended, "Just agitated."

Joel nodded from across the table, "Understandable," He got up from his seat, and walked behind Wednesday's, "Anything I can do to help?"

"Not really."

He wrapped his arms around her from behind, placing feather-light kisses down her neck, "Are you sure?"

She fought back the urge to kiss him back, his lips gently nipping at the crook of her neck, "Yes."

"Positive?" He whispered huskily against her neck, "You can have your way with me right now."

Wednesday turned around, facing him, eyebrow quirked. He winked back, smiling his signature, dopey smile. She rolled her eyes, "Not now."

"Why not?"

"I don't want my father catching us," She replied, "Remember last time?"

Joel gulped, looking back on the terrifying moment. Despite his jolly exterior, Gomez Addams really is a protective father.

"Nobody's home right now," He pleaded, "Come on…"

She looked into his puppy dog eyes, eventually surrendering to him, "Fine," She closed her notebook, "You know, you can get really pathetic when your horny."

Joel laughed, "I can't help it."

Wednesday got up from her seat, stretching. Joel then decides to scoop her up, carrying her into the living room.

She squirmed in his arms, "What are you _doing_?"

"Carrying you," He smiled, "Like a good boyfriend."

"We don't do carrying."

"I know. Thought I might mix it up a little."

"Well can we mix it up on the couch instead?" Wednesday wriggled, "I don't like being above the ground."

Joel softly lowered her onto the couch. She looked up at him. From this perspective, he towered over her. It was kind of hot, actually. But she would never admit it, "Well?"

"What?"

"Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to kiss me?"

"Sorry," He sat down next to her, "I just noticed that you had your hair down today."

Wednesday scooted closer to him, her pale hands grabbing onto his hair. She ran her fingers through his soft curls, "Mon coeur…"

"Mi amor?"

"You talk too much," She pulled him closer, their lips inches away from each other.

He laughed breathily, slowly taking off his glasses and setting them aside, "You're so beautiful, you make me nervous."

She moved closer, "Mon cher, tu pourrais te taire et m'embrasser?"

"Me encanta cuando hablas francés…" Joel leaned in, finally closing the gap between them. He moved his hands down to her hips, while she raked hers through his dark brown locks.

He deepened the kiss, opening his mouth against her own, slightly tilting his head to the side. Wednesday obliged, sliding her tongue against his, challenging him for dominance. His grip on her hips tightened as he pushed her deeper into the couch. She moved one hand down to his neck, and one down to his back, teasingly brushing the skin underneath his shirt. The touch of her cold fingers caught him off guard, allowing Wednesday to take control.

She pushed him onto his back, straddling him in the process. Joel finally gave up the battle of dominance, lazily kissing her as his hands inched up her thighs and under her skirt. Wednesday smirked into the kiss, and began to unbutton his warm flannel.

He broke away, trailing sloppy kisses down her neck. She let out a quiet moan as he made his way down to her collar bone.

"I just want you to know," He whispered between quick nips, "That I'll always be there for you…"

"What-," She gasped, his teeth scraping the skin of her neck, "Are you talking about?"

He pulled away, looking up at her, "I'm not gonna let anybody get to you this summer. Those preppy, blonde campers can kiss my ass…" Joel stared into her eyes with a passionate intensity only an Addams could imitate, "Nothing is going to tear me away from you. You're not gonna be alone."

"I already know that. And if anybody tries to mess with you, they'll have me to deal with… Again." She muttered.

"Well," He whispered, leaning his forehead against hers, "Don't get _too_ torturous… I might get jealous."

Wednesday feigned innocence, "Torturous? I'm only packing the cat o nine tails…"

Joel groaned, shivering from beneath her, "Promise?"

"You have my word…" She mumbled against his lips.

* * *

 **Fav, follow, and reviewwww**


	3. Hell on Earth Pt 2

_**SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! Life has been keeping me from writing, dog gammit. I made sure to make this chapter a little longer than my last two. Not super long, but good enough. Hope ya'll enjoyy!**_

* * *

"Well, here we are again." Joel announced as the Addams clan made their way through Camp Chippewa's gates, "Never thought I'd see it rise from the ashes…"

"Unfortunately." Wednesday added.

Lurch parked the car, and Morticia turned around from the passenger's seat, "Are you sure you have everything you need?"

"I've packed the essentials," Her daughter replied, grabbing the black suitcase from the back of their 32' Twin Six, "Bug spray, flashlight, toothpaste, arsenic…"

Gomez stepped out first, Pubert in his arms. He frowned upon the scenic view of pine trees and sunshine, "I still have never forgiven myself for sending you here." He set Pubert down, handing him a cigar.

"It truly _was_ an awful experience," Wednesday recounted, "But it did have it's perks." She turned to Joel, "It's scrawny, skinny, Jewish little perks…"

Joel slid his arm around her waist, "I'd have to agree. I recall meeting a stunningly sadistic bombshell last time I was here, we really hit it off."

Pubert looked up at his sister in awe, "Are you going to be here _all_ summer?"

"Yes."

The five-year-old frowned, "I'm going to miss you."

"Well, that makes one of us, because I'm certainly not going to miss you."

Her words flew in one ear and out the other, for the oblivious child hugged his sister tight, sniffling.

"Are you sure _all_ of his blonde hair turned back to black?" Wednesday asked her parents, uncomfortably patting her brother on the back, "I sometimes question his normalcy…"

"He's perfectly abnormal, no doubt about that," Gomez assured, lighting a cigar, "He just gets a little 'handsy' before his naps."

"Just like you." Morticia smirked.

A slim, blonde haired girl made her way towards the family, with a distasteful frown plastered to her face, "Oh. My. God." Her jaw seemed to drop to the floor, "Who let _you_ in here?"

"Amanda Buckman," Wednesday greeted, dryly, "What a pleasant surprise."

"Who's at the front gate?" She turned to another counselor, "Why is he just _letting_ people in? He has a job to do, a list-"

"Oh," Wednesday interrupted her, "You mean the list with _our_ names on it? The camp counselors' list? Don't worry, Amanda. He's doing his job."

Amanda Buckman switched over to the two, wide eyed, "You mean- You're-"

"CONSULORS!" The camp director, Gary Granger, called from the main cabin, "ALL CONSULORS MEET IN THE MAIN CABIN, IMMEDIATELY!"

Amanda grimaced one last time, obeying her orders and walking over to the bunkhouses, "Don't think this is over, because it's not." She growled, "Gary and Becky will find out… Then my summer can go back to normal…"

She walked away, flipping her blonde hair with rage. Wednesday sneered at her former bunkmate, "Now, why would she ever want that?"

"Sounds boring, if you ask me." Joel added, glaring down the Buckman daughter.

Gomez looked down at his pocket watch, then at Morticia, who nodded, picking up Pubert. She made her final farewell, "We'll see you in a few weeks."

Wednesday's father started toward the car, "Remember to do your laundry every week!"

Her mother chimed in again, "And to fold your clothes _neatly_ , so they don't wrinkle!"

"And if a masked man with a machete asks where the children are, make sure you give him the right directions!" Pubert called from his mother's arms, "And ask him to sign me something!"

* * *

"Alright, counselors!" A middle-aged man shouted among the chatting teens, "Let's settle down, now!"

The ex-campers turned toward their camp director politely, quieting down. Wednesday rolled her eyes, "Nothing has changed."

" _Fantastic_ …" Joel mumbled.

The short, skinny man carried on, "Golly, is it good to be back, huh?" He clapped, turning to the woman next to him, "Isn't it great to be back?"

She nodded, clapping with him. The room followed suit, erupting into an excited applause.

The lady next to the man, a little taller than him, and a little lankier, continued over the cheers of excitement, "Well now," She called, peering over the many teenagers, "I _am_ seeing a lot of familiar faces, and some new ones!" She turned over to the man again, "I think it's about time we introduce ourselves!"

They both clapped again. Wednesday gagged.

"Alrighty!" The man stepped up first, sporting a cream-colored polo with navy-blue cargo shorts (both seemed to be a size too large on him), "Hey, guys and gals! I'm Gary Granger!" He waved enthusiastically toward the crowd.

"And I'm Becky Martin-Granger!" The woman added, wearing the same, plastered smile (and clothes) as her husband, "We're the owners and directors here at Camp Chippewa-

"America's foremost facility for privileged young adults!" Gary finished for her.

"Now, we have one, sole mission for this summer, and that mission is to help our campers learn, grow, and to just plain have-" Becky cupped her hands by her ears, "Let me hear it, guys!"

"FUN!" The crowd responded in unison.

Wednesday glanced at Joel, whose face has turned slightly pale. He looked back at her, and adjusted his glasses. He always does that when he's nervous.

"And you young folks," Gary pointed into the crowd, "Are here to help us do it!"

"Okay now," Becky called out, "Here at Camp Chippewa, we have 8 cabins. Three for the boys, three for the girls, one for Gary and I, and one for storage."

"For every cabin, there are eight campers and," Gary motioned toward the teens, "Two to three counselors."

"Does everybody understand so far?"

Murmurs and grunts of comprehension echoed throughout the room, Gary nodded, "Great! Then I guess it's time we assign cabins!" He handed his wife his clipboard, "Ladies first!"

Becky read the list in front of her, then looked up at the teenagers, "For cabin 1, we have… Lilly Richardson and Jennifer Stanford!"

The two girls squealed with excitement, Mrs. Martin-Granger smiled, "For Cabin 2, we have Tiffany Tomich and Amanda Buckman!"

Both of the blonde girls quickly embraced each other in a friendly hug. Gary put his hand over his heart, "Just like old times…"

Becky grinned at the two, and looked back down at her clipboard, searching for the keepers of the final girls' cabin, "And finally, for Cabin 3," Her smile faded, she paused, reading the names twice, just to make sure she wasn't seeing things, "we have Consuela Ramierez and…" Becky glanced over to her husband, warily, "Wednesday Addams…"

Seconds after the fateful words left her lips, the room was already trying to pinpoint the location of one of the most notorious campers in Chippewa history. The crowd erupted in muffled disapproval. Gary frowned, taking the clipboard to see for himself. His eyes widened in fear.

Their disapproval grew noisier by the minute, the boys just as upset as the girls, boiling with anger. Becky foresaw the possibility of the crowd getting out of hand, she intervened, "Now, now, let's settle down…"

The cries of outrage subdued themselves, leaving behind some very ruffled ex-campers.

"I understand that we are upset," She explained, "And, I'll admit, I'm quite rattled myself… I mean… The… The Addams _are_ responsible for the demise of our fun-filled summer-"

Amanda finally spoke up over her camp director, "Not only that! I had nightmares for weeks! Burns! Scars!" She exclaimed, dramatically looking around the room, "We've all suffered!"

For the first time that day, Wednesday had smiled.

Some girls began to cry at the memories of that summer, others huddled around an angry Amanda Buckman. The boys clenched their fists, just about ready to erupt in a fit of rage. The scene was chaotic, despite Gary and Becky's pleas to calm down.

Wednesday loved it.

It was like a scene out of a classic horror story, the town forming an angry mob to confront the evil witch. Worrisome thoughts danced their way into Joel's mind as the crowd seemed to become more and more upset with their return to Chippewa. He took her hand, squeezing it protectively.

"It's fine, Mon Cher," She noticed his ever-growing irritation as the room began to close in on her," I'm probably enjoying this more than I should be…"

He kept his grip on her hand, eyes fixated on the crowd. Before he knew it, they were surrounded. He could almost feel the temperature inside the room increase due to their screaming complaints, he could literally see the spit flying from their angry mouths. Joel braced himself, ready to throw some punches to anyone who would dare lay a finger on Wednesday Addams.

And this did not go unnoticed by her.

"You're being intimidating," She purred in his ear as the crowd raged on, "I'm liking this new Joel…"

A small blush rushed to Joel's cheeks. He tried, and failed, to shake off the tingly feeling of her warm breath against his ear, "Not now, Wednesday. Aren't you the least bit concerned about this?"

"I'm sorry, are you new?"

He rolled his eyes, "What are Gary and Becky doing anyway? Shouldn't they stop this?"

"No, I think they're enjoying it too."

As if on cue, Gary Granger sounded a bullhorn throughout the cabin. The counselors froze.

"Campers!" He called out, "Oops, I mean- Counselors! Has it really come to this? Have we really lost the true Chippewa spirit?"

Nobody said a word.

"Yes, there has been an uneasy past involving these two! We all know it, because we've all experienced it! But this will not be a summer of revenge!" Becky added.

"None that she'll _know_ about…" Amanda muttered under her breath. Her little 'plasic-posse' nodded.

"This is going to be a summer of forgiveness, a summer of healing!" She grabbed Gary's guitar from the corner, handing it to him, "A fresh start! Who's with me?"

The preppy teen-counselors applauded in fake agreement, Gary smiled, absentmindedly strumming his guitar, "I say we kick off this summer with a song! To finally unite us, before we turn a new leaf!"

More applause. Wednesday frowned, now (surprisingly) squeezing Joel's hand back, "They- They're going to-"

"And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four- _This land is your land, this land is my land_

 _From the California to the New York island,_

 _From the Redwood Forest, to the gulf stream waters,_

 _This land was made for you and me-"_

"Sing." Joel finished her sentence.

* * *

 _ **So, if anyone is interested, I can put updates of when I am able to write this story on my Instagram (so ya'll don't think I'm dead). My insta is thatcringydog**_

 _ **ALSO FAV, FOLLOW, AND REVIEW!**_

 _ **ALRIGHT BYE BITCHES, I GOT A PHYSICS TEST TOMORROW AND HAVEN'T STUDIED SINCE LAST THURSDAYY AND IMA BOUT TO CRASHH!**_


	4. Adventures in Babysitting

**WELL HIYA, KIDS. HOW THE HELL ARE YA. It's been a while. SOOO sorry I haven't updated this sooner. Life's been stressful, and I've been getting sick every few weeks, so I haven't had the time to update any of my stories.**

 **I actually thought people just forgot or gave up on this story, too. But apparently that's not the case! So thanks guys!**

 **Also im very tired and just cranked this chapter out in like an hour and a half sooo there may be some mistakes lmao**

* * *

Wednesday crossed her arms as she sat herself on the single bed in the oh-so familiar cabin, staring down the young campers who stood before her. She had anticipated this; the situation was inevitable. Gary and Becky had placed her with the misfit campers, while the rest of the arian children were paired with their blonde-haired, blue-eyed counselors. That's the Chippewa way, and Wednesday Addams knew that fact very well. She had even prepared herself for today; taking charge of the weakest campers who didn't fall into the category of athletic, or pretty, or popular, or… normal. And, that was only expected, given that she too was abnormal.

But what Wednesday had not anticipated was for her co-counselor to flee the camp after gripping the reality of the fact that she would be spending her whole summer with Wednesday Addams; _sleeping_ in the same _room_ as the girl who had tried to burn Amanda Buckman at the stake. And, since nobody else had volunteered to take Consuela's place ( _that was her name_ , Wednesday thought to herself, _Consuela was her name_ ), Wednesday had to babysit four, pre-teen girls. All by herself. For the whole summer.

And she could barely keep an eye on Pubert.

"So… Are we just gonna… stay in here all night? What's going on?" The red-haired one spoke up first.

Wednesday cocked an eyebrow. The girl was… not afraid, which was new. Definitely new. She spoke with a confidence- or was that cockiness- that was not very common when it came to kids of this kind of… _group_. It was… reassuring.

Wednesday had never used that word before.

"Hey, sunshine! Did you hear what I said?"

Wednesday winced at the voice. She couldn't tell if she was going to like this child, or loathe her, "My _name_ is not _sunshine._ You will call me Wednesday." She watched the girl's forehead crinkle in confusion, "And we're staying here until 6:00; Gary and Becky said something about getting to know each other."

The young girls waited for more information, possibly about the ice-breaker games their counselor had supposedly planned (according to Gary).

But Wednesday was silent.

She just sat there, on the bed.

"Okay…" The redhead rolled her eyes, _I guess we're going to do our own ice-breakers_ , "Well, I'm Sabrina. I'm 12 years old, and I'm from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania." She tried to think of anything else to share with the strangers in the room, "And… Uh, I'm at camp because my mom 'couldn't handle me anymore.'"

Wednesday hid a small smile behind her scowl.

Sabrina looked around, at the other campers, who now all seemed a little relieved that she had taken charge of the introductions.

The dark-skinned girl decided to go next, "I… I'm Hermione. I'm 11, uh, from Queens. And I'm here because… My parents signed me up. I guess…" She tightened the ponytail in her bushy hair, and gestured to the girl next to her. Another redhead. This time, without the freckles or the blue eyes. She had green eyes, and smooth, pale skin.

"I'm Winifred. People call me 'Winnie,' though." The girl pushed her wide-frame glasses up the bridge of her nose, "I'm here… I don't know why… I'm 7 and a half… And my favorite color's purple." She smiled to herself.

There was one more girl left. A lean girl, with short, curly, brown hair; almost boyish, in a way. And her skin had a slight tan, as if she'd spent some time outside before coming to camp.

The campers waited for her to introduce herself, as they did themselves, just moments ago.

But the short girl said nothing.

Sabrina grew impatient, "Got a name, kid?"

Wednesday and the other girls observed as the silent one's head turned to Sabrina, nodding.

"And… It is…"

The girl only blinked.

"Okay." The redhead sighed, defeated, "She doesn't talk."

Winnie frowned, "Then what are we gonna call her?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we have to call her something." Hermione answered for the younger girl, "How is she going to know who's talking to her?"

Sabrina thought for a moment, "Damn. You're right," She mumbled, "The kid needs a name…"

"What about Timmy?" Winnie suggested, "Because she's timid?"

"That has to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"Chatterbox?" Winnie asked, "Get it? Because she-"

"No."

"Fifi?"

"How does that even-"

"Sandy?"

"What?"

"Oh!" The youngest gasped, "Maybe we can call her-"

"Stop." Wednesday interrupted, "Both of you."

Their voices fell immediately. Though, Sabrina crossed her arms in frustration.

"Maybe, instead of treating her like an animal, you should let the silent one choose her _own_ name."

There was a short pause, then followed by hums of agreement.

"She's right." Hermione shrugged, "It wouldn't be fair to her if we started calling her something she didn't like for the whole summer."

Winnie giggled, "Wouldn't it be funny if we called her dingleberry for the summer?"

"What are you? In second grade?"

"Third!"

"Okay," Sabrina sighed, "Wednesday, since you seem to know everything. Why don't _you_ name the kid? Because _these two_ _idiots_ can't complete a simple task."

" _Hey!_ " Both girls said in unison.

Wednesday rose from the bed, smoothing out her dress, "Fine," She walked toward the girl, looking down.

The girl looked up.

"Hello."

Silence.

"You are either going to tell me your name, or you are going to choose which name you wish to be called for the remainder of the summer."

The girl blinked her brown, doe-like eyes.

Wednesday waited for an answer.

But nothing came.

"Alright," She put her hands on her hips, "Mildred?"

Her head shook _no_.

"Beverly?"

 _No_.

"Caroline?"

She shook her head again, but less violently. Wednesday was getting closer.

"Minerva?"

Another no.

The teenager sighed, looking back up again, this time, to the other campers, "What does she look like?"

Hermione cocked a brow, "Are you blind or something?"

" _No._ What _name_ does she look like? Maybe she'll agree if it ends up being her actual name."

"Jemima!" Winnie called out, smiling, "She's pretty, and Jemima is a pretty name!"

The silent girl smiled at this, but did not nod her head.

"So, that's a 'no' on Jemima…" Hermione scratched her head, "Maybe Abigail? She kinda looks like an 'Abigail.'"

Wednesday looked down at the girl again, "No… Abigail is a… _delicate_ name… She seems stronger."

The girl smiled again.

Hermione gasped, grinning, "That almost sounded like a compliment…"

"Merely an observation." Wednesday replied, never taking her eyes off the small girl, "I don't compliment."

"Hmm…"

They all stared at the strange girl, who, for the first time in Wednesday's life, was the oddest human being in the room.

She was too strong for a delicate name... Too complex for a simple name…

"Elenore." Sabrina finally blurted.

The girl giggled.

"Elenore?" Hermione asked, "Like Elenore Rigby?"

Winnie folded her arms, "I still like 'Jemima' better."

"Well, I'm just saying, she _looks_ like an 'Elenore' to me…" Sabrina tilted her head, "And I think she agrees."

After the long debate over her name, she, _Elenore_ , nodded her head in agreement.

"Okay! Great!" The redhead cried, "That's finally done!"

The small analog clock on the wall indicated that it was indeed, now, 6:00 PM.

Wednesday, Sabrina, Hermione, Winnie, and _Elenore_ made their way down to the mess-hall for dinner.

This was going to be an interesting summer.

* * *

 **Aye so the next chapter is probably gonna be about Joel because I guess I completely forgot to put him in here :p**


	5. Toothpaste Words

**It's Britney, bitch. And I'm back with another chapter. Sorry for the wait. I kinda had writer's block, so I tried to push writing to the last minute. Then school came, and xc season, and ACT classes, and other dumb stuff with people that i don't wanna get into. BUTTT im backk, and I just wanna thank everyone who has been reviewing and following and faving.**

 **yall are swell.**

 **I tried to make this chapter at least 1000 words long bc i love u guys.**

 **happy birthday ;)**

 **ps: I just want yall to know that the campers are all 12 in this chapter except for 1. Idk if i mentioned that while i was writing or not.**

* * *

"So…" Joel pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose, uncomfortably gazing around the room, "What do you guys wanna do first?"

The four boys shrugged, mumbling some inaudible response. Joel looked at his co-counselor, Ben- a fellow asthmatic, which is probably the reason why they were placed in the same cabin.

Ben scratched the back of his neck, and sighed, "Guys, c'mon, the sooner we get the ice-breakers out of the way, the sooner we can eat."

The first camper, tall and tan, with bright, fluffy, blonde hair, rolled his eyes, "You think food is going to get these idiots anywhere? If you want us to talk, you should give us something to talk about. _You're_ the counselors."

"Hey, who you calling idiot?" The second camper asked, crossing his chubby arms across his chest.

"You! You, Patrick!" The first one cried, exasperated, pointing at his bunk-mate, "I'm calling _you_ an idiot! And Will, and Bill! You're all idiots!"

"Shut up!" The third one, Will, stood up from his bed, "You've been acting like this ever since we got here! Just shut up!"

" _Me_ shut up? You want _me_ to shut up? The whole drive up to this shit-fest, you were complaining about how much you didn't want to come up here! And I complain _one time_ -"

"Guys, stop-" Bill, the third boy, warned, timidly. He seemed to be the youngest in the group… About eight or nine years old.

"Oh, shut the hell up, Bill! You were the one with this stupid idea in the first place!"

Bill scowled, "Was not! My mom made me go! I only asked if you guys wanted to come!"

"Oh yeah, that's right!" The first boy laughed sarcastically, scratching his head, "How did you say that again? ' _Oh, golly-gee, guys! I just found this swell summer camp up north! It's got archery, and rock climbing, and watersports! And it's all free, 'cause it's their first year!_ ' You only failed to mention that we'd be spending our summer with a bunch of snob-nosed, tight-assed Twinkie-dicks!"

"Well, it was your own choice, wasn't it, Teddy?" Bill rose his voice, "You didn't have to go!"

"You're right!" The boy, Teddy, laughed again, hysterically, "You are _so_ right! But I decided to come because I knew you couldn't handle spending a summer without your parents!"

Patrick wiggled uneasily in his seat, "Uh… Guys, I think we should all try to calm down…"

"Shut up, Patrick, you know it's true!"

"Teddy…" Will warned.

But Teddy turned to Bill again, and kept going, "'Cause Billy knows damn well that, here, seven hours away from home, he can't just wake up in the middle of the night and go, ' _Mommy? Daddy? I think I wet the bed again…_ "

"That's it!" Bill cried.

In an instant, Bill, although shorter and skinnier than Teddy, had the boy pinned down beneath him, and began punching the life out of his "friend".

"Hey!" Joel yelled, jumping out of his seat. He tried to pull the boys apart, "What the hell?"

Ben pitched in, pulling Teddy away from Bill's reach, "That escalated quickly!"

"You take that back! Take that back right now!" Bill kept punching, yet his fists were only hitting the air, "Take it back, take it back!"

Joel finally pulled Bill's flailing arms in, and felt the boy shake violently in his grasp.

"Let go of me! Let go!"

Joel squeezed tighter, and the shaking stopped. The boy only cried limply in his counselor's arms, as Ben tended to Teddy's black eye. He carried Bill over to one of the beds, and set him down gingerly.

Joel turned to the other two boys, who looked less shaken up than what he had expected, "Uh… Okay… What's going on?"

Patrick glanced at Will, who shrugged, "Just… A long day… And, I guess, brothers fight like that sometimes… I don't know."

"Brothers?" Joel looked at Bill, then over to Teddy, finally taking in their resemblance. They both shared the same hair, and the same, golden skin. Although, Teddy was more built than Bill, but that was probably because he was older (if Joel were to guess, he would say 12 years old). He cocked a brow, "Huh."

"Well… I guess that counts as an ice breaker…" Ben mused, "And a nose breaker, face bruiser, etc.."

"Hey!" Teddy snapped.

"Quiet kid, you want the rest of camp to know your baby brother gave you a black eye?"

Teddy shut his mouth, and allowed the counselor to continue his work. Joel walked over to the bruised boy, and examined for himself, "We're probably going to need some ice…"

"And an apology!" Patrick called out, sitting next to Bill across the room.

Teddy groaned.

"C'mon, Teddy, you have to…" Will pressed, "You know you do…"

Patrick nodded, "Words are like toothpaste, once you squeeze them out, you can never put them back in the bottle."

Teddy rolled his eyes, "Hey, thanks, Confusious, but I don't need another lecture from you this week…"

"Then apologize…" Patrick frowned, "You drew first blood."

"Fine." The blonde boy grunted from his seat, "Bill, I'm sorry."

"No, no, no… You have to shake hands… You know that's the rule." Patrick nagged.

Teddy sighed, standing up, and walking over to his brother, "Bill. I am sorry." He stuck out his hand.

"For?" Patrick pushed.

"Saying you wet the bed."

"And?"

"And what?" Teddy whipped back to Patrick, "That's all I said!"

"You're forgetting the most important part!"

Teddy rolled his eyes once again, groaning impatiently, "What? What are you talking about?"

"You know…" Patrick said, attempting to mouth the words "I love…"

Sighing, Teddy turned back to his brother, sticking his hand out again, "I'm sorry for saying you wet the bed. I shouldn't have said that. You're doing better." His voice grew quieter as he mumbled the last part, "And I love you."

Bill grinned up at his brother, who - even though he would deny it later on - gave a slight smile back. He shook Teddy's hand, thus earning the cheers of Patrick and Will.

"Aw… You guys…" Patrick beamed at his friends.

"Thank God that's over…" Will whispered.

Joel ran a hand through his hair, "Yeah…" He blinked a few times, in thought, "Do they fight like this… often?"

Will looked up at the counselor, "Pretty much."

"Oh," Joel frowned, "Great."

* * *

 **Sooooo pls be patient with my mediocre writing rn, all ive been writing for the past 3 months have been essays so... love that for me.**

 **Also review, and fav, and follow bc i love u.**


	6. Game On

**Hey guys. It's been a while. Lotta stuff happened. But, "new year, new me", am I right?**

 ***You cant hear it right now, but I'm playing the Seinfeld theme song***

 **Anyway, here's a long chapter to keep my readers. Love you guys. Thanks for sticking with this story.**

 **Also, I think I forgot how to write right, so please forgive me for any grammar, spelling, punctuation, or flow mistakes. It's hard to get back in the swing of things.**

 **Happy birthday.**

* * *

"Where do we sit?" Sabrina asked, panning over the crowd that began to form in the mess hall.

Wednesday shrugged, "I don't care…" She looked above the sea of children, "Just don't separate."

"So…" Hermione looked up at her counselor, "We can just sit anywhere?"

"Didn't I just answer that question?" Wednesday kept peering over the crowd, searching for something.

Winnie pulled at her wrist, "What are you looking for?"

"None of your business." _Found him._ She glanced down, "Go sit, I'll find you."

Wednesday broke free from Winnie's grasp, and carefully maneuvered her way through the mob of children and counselors. Joel waved from his table, standing up from his seat, " _Cara Mia!_ "

With a wave of relief, Wednesday almost fell into his arms, " _Mon Cher_ …"

He pulled her closer, supporting her hips with his hands, and her head with his shoulder, "You alright?"

"Mmgph."

"Okay, I'll take that as a 'no.'"

She grumbled against his newly-ironed Chippewa uniform, "I'm fine."

Joel quirked an eyebrow, "Funny…" He took one hand from her hip, and gently lifted her chin from his shoulder, "You don't sound too convincing."

"Joel-"

"Alright, campers!" Gary interrupted with a bullhorn – a new one, might I add, "How has our first day been at the new and improved Camp Chippewa?"

The crowd erupted into a horrifying mess of clapping and cheering. Wednesday burrowed her head back into her boyfriend's shoulder.

"Yeah!" Gary pumped his fists into the air, "That is good to hear, you guys! Good to hear!"

Becky smiled at her husband, and clapped her hands together, "Now, I know how excited we are to finally eat Gary's famous chili for dinner-"

Joel could have sworn he felt Wednesday sob into his new shirt; he rubbed her back, "Hey…" He muttered, "You wanna get outa here? I doubt anyone's gonna be in the medical cabin..."

"Joel…" She craned her neck, looking him in the eye, "We burned that down."

"Oh. Right…" He smiled fondly, but only for a moment. Wednesday was acting strange; _vulnerable_ almost. Not like herself at all. It worried him.

"Plus," He heard her muffled voice once again, "We can't leave these kids here without their counselors… It's a rule."

Alright, now that was just downright alarming, "Since when do you decide to follow the rules?"

"I don't know!" He felt her vibrate against his body again.

"Hey," He tried to calm her down again, pulling her body closer, "Hey, it's okay…"

"No, Joel," She grabbed his arms and looked up at his face, "It's not okay. There is something wrong with me. And not in the good way…"

They both heard Gary and Becky call out something about dinner. She rolled her eyes, still clinging to his arms, "I have to find my kids."

"Your kids?"

She glared at him, "You already know what I mean."

 _Now she's back._ Joel sighed in relief, "I do… But mi amor…" He looked her body up and down, "Okay, now stop looking at me like that…"

"Like what?" She crossed her arms.

He smirked, "You're doing that face… The galre - And that thing with your lip - the pouty thing." Joel's eyes darkened with want, "It does things to me… Makes me want to tear all your clothes off-" _That khaki mess_ , "And take you right here, on this table… In front of everybody."

Her brow quirked in amusement, "Really?"

" _Really_. Really really."

She snaked her hands down from his arms, and slowly wrapped them around his torso, "And how would you do that?"

"Oh, you know…" He stammered as her cold, petite fingers made their way under his shirt, and up his bare back, "I would- um… I would…"

"Because," Wednesday leaned into his ear, leaving just enough space between her lips and his skin; her hands now retreating to the bottoms of his shorts, "I think," She hovered over his glutes, "If _anyone_ is going to be taking _anyone_ ," She grabbed his ass - earning a yelp in response - and purred against his neck, "It's going to be me."

"O-okay!" Joel wheezed, "That's fine! I love it. Equality. Girl power-"

"Good." She replied monotonously, pushing away from his body, "See you tonight."

He stood in disbelief, watching her walk away, looking for her group of girls.

"See you!" He called back. She didn't turn around, not that he was complaining – those fitted shorts _really_ complimented her figure… Especially when she walked like _that_.

"Wow." Joel whispered under his breath. He took a puff from his old inhaler.

* * *

The girls had already gotten their dinner when Wednesday finally found their table. And, much to their counselor's dismay, they decided to sit with a group of (surprise, surprise) preppy, blonde, trust fund babies… But the groups both seemed to get along quite well, so Wednesday decided not to think much into the seating choice.

"So…" Sabrina poked her chili with her spoon, "Who's the dude?"

Wednesday sat down, rolling her eyes, "No."

" _No_?" The redhead scoffed, "Oh, come on, you two were basically porking eachother with your eyes… We all saw it."

"If you all saw it, then there is nothing more to say."

"Oh, yes there is-"

"Sabrina," Winnie warned, "It's not our place to ask-"

"So, what, you have sex then?" Sabrina ignored the seven year old, "Like grownup sex?"

"Yes…"

"So does that mean you two are just fuck buddies, or friends with benefits, or married, or involved in some kind of dominatrix-subordinate relationship-"

"Sabrina, shut up!" Hermione kicked her from under the table.

"Hey!" She returned the kick.

"Hey!"

Elenore giggled into her cup of chili, watching the madness unfold like some sort of television sitcom.

Winnie looked up from her bowl, "Can you at least tell us your boyfriend's name?"

Sabrina stopped kicking, "Hey! We don't even know the status of their relationship! For all we know, he could be her father's intern's stepson who pays her to have sex with him."

Wednesday rolled her eyes, tuning out the immaturity. She turned to Winnie, "His name is Joel. That is all."

She smiled, "Okay!" And went back to _almost_ eating her - _God, is that even chili?_

The girls seemed satisfied enough; They turned their attention over to their neighboring group. Wednesday felt her stomach growl, and studied Sabrina's untouched cup of chili. Her feeling of hunger was replaced with an impulse to retch all over the picnic table. However, she kept her composure – no matter how much that chili resembled something extremely close to _literal_ dog diarrhea.

She tried to catch Joel's gaze across the mess hall – and succeeded, for a second. He cracked a half-smile; she blinked.

Their "romantic" moment was cut short when a certain Amanda Buckman decided to raise her voice from behind, "Are you kidding me right now?"

The girls at the table stopped talking to eachother. Wednesday rolled her eyes so far, she was surprised they didn't get stuck in the back of her head. She shifted her body to face the girl, while still staying seated – with perfect posture.

"What do you want?"

"What do I want?" Amanda repeated, taking a seat at the farthest end of the table, "What I want is to spend my summer in peace, without you, or your little boyfriend, or your misfit army ruining everything."

Wednesday scowled back at the girl, but said nothing. An uncomfortable silence enveloped the table. The girls glanced from one another with caution.

Pent up with some form of anger – or maybe it was just the fact that she hadn't opened her mouth for more than a minute - Sabrina finally blurted out, "Are you just gonna let her say that to you?"

Wednesday turned to Sabrina, her facial expression unchanged, "Yes."

"But why?" Hermione asked, careful to not let Amanda hear.

"Because I can't afford to get in trouble with her right now."

Amanda could easily get her and Joel kicked out of camp – which would ultimately result in their expulsion from school. If she ever found out _why_ they were here-

"Yeah," Sabrina crossed her arms, smirking at the black-haired teenager, "Well _I_ think it's because you're just being a pussy. Punch her in the face." She nodded to herself, "You know you want to… Knock one of those stupid buck teeth out of her snotty, stupid head."

Wednesday felt the ends of her lips curve into a small, demented smile. Although she was a horror to listen to – most of the time – Sabrina was slowly growing on her.

Amanda, however, did not seem to feel the same way, "Do that, and you'll be spending the rest of your summer in the Harmony Hut, you wench."

"Oh, Amanda, I wouldn't dream of punching you in the face," Wednesday slowly dropped her smile into a deadpan frown, "My dreams are much more… clever than that… And vivid…" _Oh, so vivid._

The blonde girl gasped, but shut her mouth nonetheless. Wednesday was satisfied, she turned to her campers, "Are you all finished with your dinner?"

The girls all nodded, each of their bowls of chili sitting untouched.

"Good, let's get out of here."

* * *

"Guys…" Hermione called out in a whisper from her bunk, bookmarking her latest page from Mark Twain's _Joan of Ark_ , "I'm getting worried…"

"Why?" Winnie asked tiredly from across the room.

"It's been thirty minutes, and Wednesday's still not back yet." The girl turned her flashlight off, and the desk lamp on, sitting up in her bed, "What if she's in trouble?"

"Oh, my God." Sabrina grumbled, turning over to her side, "How am I supposed to get any sleep around here?"

Hermione glared at the redhead, who was now smothering herself with her pillow, "Shut up… This could be serious."

"Okay," Sabrina threw the pillow across the room, "First of all: nobody tells me to shut up. Secondly," She smirked, "I'm pretty sure that we have nothing to worry about."

The geeky girl quirked an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"Guys… It's pretty obvious."

Winnie cocked her head and glanced at Hermione, who shrugged back.

"Oh, my God." Sabrina rolled her eyes, her smirk still plastered on her face, "She and her boy-dude are _definitely_ dinky-tickling in the woods."

Elenore giggled from her bed. Hermione's eyes bugged, "You mean-"

"They're getting busy, getting down, creaming the twinkie, doing the nasty-" Sabrina's smirk widened at her bunkmate's horrified expression; Elenore laughed harder.

Hermione scrunched up her nose, "I think we get it-"

"- Taking ol' One-Eye to the optometrist, riding the wild bologna-pony-"

"Sabrina!"

"Honing the bone, waxing the bean-"

"Please stop!" She covered her ears, motioning for Winnie to do the same.

Satisfied with her work, Sabrina cut her euphemisms short. Hermione sighed with relief, "Thank you."

She looked away, muttering to herself, "Taking the bald-headed gnome for a stroll in the misty forest."

"I heard that!"

"Sorry. I'm done, I swear."

"Okay… Now that _that's_ out of your system." Hermione put her hands on her hips, "What makes you so sure she's… Uh…"

Winnie finished for her, "Riding the wild bologna-pony?"

"Winnie!"

"What did I do?"

Sabrina snickered, "Well, for one, she told me she was going to get some fresh air in the woods."

Hermione rolled her eyes, "So?"

"So – I don't take her for a nature-lover… Plus, I saw whatever-his-name waiting outside our window."

The bushy haired girl took a deep breath and plopped herself back down on the bed; the other girls did the same, "How long do you think she'll be gone?"

"I don't know… Maybe a few more minutes, maybe hours… It depends, I guess." The redhead casually thought aloud.

"Wow." Hermione raised her eyebrows, "You sure know a lot about… that stuff…"

Sabrina shrugged, "Yeah, well, when you grow up with older brothers… Anyway, I've got stuff I wanna do anyway, while she's gone. I'm sure we'll have enough time to sneak out and get back."

"Sneak out?"

Sabrina mimicked the girl's concern-stricken face, "' _Sneak out?_ '"

"Why are we sneaking out?" Winnie asked.

Sabrina sat up a bit straighter, putting on a more serious demeanor, "'Cause we're gonna get that slut back for humiliating us at dinner."

Hermione scratched her head, "Amanda?"

"' _Amanda?_ '"

"Stop doing that!"

"Whatever," Sabrina crossed her arms, "I'm gonna fill her shampoo bottle with maple syrup and black food dye – are you guys in or out?"

Winnie and Hermione looked uneasily at eachother, then back at Sabrina, while Elenore quietly got out of bed, and stood by the devious redhead.

Winnie smiled, "Okay." She stood up, "I'll do it."

Hermione huffed, "I will too, I guess…"

Sabrina grinned, "Alright!" She cracked her knuckles, "Game on."

* * *

"Holy shit!" Joel gasped in the dark as Wednesday pinned his body against the wooden wall, "You almost gave me a heart attack."

" _Almost_ …" Wednesday repeated, disappointed.

He grabbed her by the hips, pulling her body ever-so closer to his own, "The night's still young, cara mia…"

She bit her lip at the thought, "Mon coeur… Don't tease me."

"Hey, you tease me all the time, I'm just trying to be fair here."

"Stop talking." The morbid girl brought her hands up to his chest, toying with the buttons of his khaki, uniform polo.

"Make me." He muttered against her neck, softly scraping his teeth against her porcelain skin. She shuddered against his sturdy body. Joel took advantage of this, grabbing her by the wrists and swapping their positions – he had her pinned. His gentle scrapes and kisses turned into a spectacular mess of rough bites and bruises that made Wednesday want to scream – in the good way, of course.

She gasped when he reached her earlobe, gently tugging on it with his teeth. She ran her fingers through his thick, brown hair, digging her nails into his scalp. He let out a soft moan against her lips, the searing pain from her nails only urged him to go further.

"Mon- cher…" She whispered breathlessly as he inched closer and closer to her mouth, "You're torturing me."

"Oh, not yet, mi amor…" He breathed huskily against her lips, "Not even close…"

He finally reached her jawline, where he stopped deliberately. She let out a huff, "Joel…"

"What?"

"I can't take it anymore - _J'ai besoin de toi_ , _mon extase!_ "

"My God, that's French…" He growled, "Cara mia…"

She pulled him into a rough kiss, to which he gratefully returned. Joel trailed his hands down to the small of her back, balling the fabric of her new shirt. She groaned softly into the kiss, parting her lips, and tilting her head, allowing his tongue to enter.

He pushed her further into the wall, grinding his hips against her own. She clutched his curls in response.

With confidence, his hands roamed lower now, hungrily groping her behind.

He pulled away once more, gasping for breath, "You know what's weird?"

She too fought her labored breathing, "What?"

"I would have never thought we'd _do it_ in the Harmony Hut…"

A rare laugh escaped her lips – it was cold; somehow cold and sensual at the same time… Joel grinned like a madman, "Did you just-"

"Shut up and take your shirt off." She ordered.

* * *

 **Welllll 2,535 words should do the trick. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna stay up until 12 so I can finally binge-watch WAYNE on youtube red. Have a spooky week.**


	7. Three Strikes, You're Out

**Hey, bet you guys didn't expect me to update so soon. Never judge a book by its cover (im crying bc** **i miss those videos).**

 **Anyway, shorter than last week's. Sorry lol. Also, my writing is still crappy rn. Need more practice.**

 **Love you guys tho 3**

* * *

"Wow…" Joel breathed into the dark, wiping the excess sweat from his forehead, "We're getting pretty good at this."

Wednesday smirked, picking up her discarded uniform from the floor, "You're not holding back anymore… You've become more… animalistic… Primal… I bled."

"I cried."

"I _screamed_."

"I _know_." The jewish boy smirked back at her with satisfaction, buttoning up his khaki polo, "I hope nobody heard you…"

"Don't lie to me, Joel." Wednesday deadpanned.

"Okay, fine, maybe a little bit." He blushed, "Just for the others to know who's boss. Like, 'I'm the alpha.' You know? _You_ chose _me_ , not them… And now I get to wave it in their faces."

"Or," His girlfriend sauntered over to him, slinking her arms around his torso, "You just want people to hear you having sex, because you're a pervert."

"Hey!" He feigned shock, but returned the embrace nonetheless, "That's _alpha-pervert_ to you!"

"Let the record show that you shall henceforth be referred to as 'alpha-pervert' for the rest of the summer."

Joel crinkled his nose, "Okay, maybe it can be, like, an unspoken thing… Like, everybody knows that I'm the alpha."

"Alpha-pervert." She corrected, looking up at him.

He leaned down, pressing his lips to hers, " _Cara_ , if we can do what we just did every day - no, even if it's every _month_ \- you can call me whatever the hell you want."

"Hm," Wednesday shrugged against his body, "The offer _is_ tempting..."

Joel nodded, smiling to himself, " _It is, now?_ "

Wednesday rolled her eyes, "Calm down, Glicker… I'm only saying what I mean: You're my sexual plaything, and nothing more."

He rolled his eyes back at her, the smile still glued to his face, "Right…"

"Well, I have to get back to my cabin before the girls start to get suspicious…" She begrudgingly pulled herself out of his arms.

"Me too… I don't know how long Ben can hold down the fort with the maniacs _we're_ dealing with."

"Maniacs, you say? How lovely."

"Isn't it?" Joel cocked his head, sarcasm dripping from his voice. He opened the door for Wednesday, who walked past him, keeping a sharp eye out for any of the other counselors.

She stopped short, however, after the first few steps, and sighed, turning around, "Joel?"

"Yeah?"

" _Je t'aime_ …"

He adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose, " _Te amo, cara mia…_ "

* * *

Amanda Buckman screamed, staring back at her (for lack of better word) _horrifying_ reflection in the bathroom mirror – her beautiful blonde hair, now molded into a rock-hard, sticky, black mess.

Slowly, she brought her quivering hand up to her head, and tried to touch it, gingerly.

 _How did this happen?_

She racked her brain, retracing her steps… That morning she had woken up, around 5:30 or so… early enough to get the shower all to herself. After that, she pulled her hair into a towel to dry. She dressed herself, put on her makeup, and ate – honey nut cheerios, with strawberries and bananas on top, a glass of O.J. on the side…

And then – _oh, the horror_ – Amanda went back to that stupid bathroom, and pulled the towel off. That was it.

Now she was here.

None of this makes sense; everything about her morning seemed normal; completely on schedule. Maybe she had to look back, further; _what did she do before bed_?

Amanda furrowed her brows in contemplation. _Last night…_

She walked the girls back to the cabin, after dinner. _What did they eat again? Chili? Did that even matter?_

 _Probably not._

They got ready for bed; ate s'mores by the campfire, put their pajamas on, had a pillow fight, took turns telling "ghost" stories… Nothing out of the ordinary – at least, according to Chippewa standards.

However, something kept jabbing at her memory: the dinner, the chili…

 _What is so important about the chili? Other than its devastating, bowelular effects on the campers who dared consume it?_

Amanda thought long and hard, holding her head in her hands as she propped her elbows on the bathroom sink… There was just _something_ about that dinner…

 _Dinner, chili, dinner, chili, campers, campers-_

 _Campers._

 _That group of girls, that ragtag clan of misfits… Her girls decided to sit with them last night!_

The campers, the chili, the dinner, the hair… It all traces back to one thing.

Well, one _person_. Though, that specific person seemed more like a witch to her… _Or some nauseating demoness_.

"That _bitch_."

* * *

"I didn't do it." Wednesday stated simply, folding her arms and leaning back into her seat next to a very exasperated Amanda Buckman.

Amanda stood up from her chair, "She's lying!" She pointed at Wednesday, "She did it for some kind of sick revenge!"

"I _wish_ …"

" _See_?"

Wednesday rolled her eyes, "I said 'I wish,' not 'I did.'" She veered her attention back to Gary and Becky, who where seated across the table, "As much as I am enjoying her frustration, I would quite like to return to my cabin, now."

Gary scratched the back of his neck nervously, "I'm sorry, Amanda…"

"No!" The once-blonde girl screamed.

"I just don't see any physical evidence linking Wednesday to the 'crime.'" He frowned. _Unfortunately_.

Becky sighed, disappointed, "You may be excused, Amanda."

The girl let out a huff, pushing her seat against the desk, "Fine! Whatever!" She turned to Wednesday, her voice reduced to a dangerously low whisper, "Don't think I'm going to forget this, freak."

She stomped out of the small cabin, Wednesday shrugged and stood up from her seat.

"Hold on there, Wednesday," Becky chided, "Not so fast…"

She groaned inwardly, but kept her poise, "What?"

Gary frowned, "We're not going to punish you this time-"

"Because I didn't do it."

He disregarded her monotonous plea, "-But we will not let any behavior of this nature slide this year…"

Becky nodded, "You and Mr. Glicker are under a three-strike policy…"

"It's a baseball term, when you get three strikes, you-"

"I know what it means, Gary." Wednesday interrupted, frowning.

Becky's lips perked up into a small, triumphant smile, "We believe this policy is only fair, given the circumstances of your stay here at Camp Chippewa…"

"So, two more stunts like this, and say goodbye to your service credits… Alright?" Her husband smugly grinned.

Wednesday fought back every urge she had to strangle her head-counselors right then and there, to watch their faces slowly turn to a satisfying shade of blueish purple-

"Are we understood?" He asked again.

 _Or a swift motion, knife in hand, right across the jugular… Oh, the glory… Blood spewing everywhere. Joel would ignite the cabins- the camp would be in a state panic, once again. They would waltz among the flames…_

"Wednesday?"

Wednesday snapped out of the pleasant daydream, glaring at the couple in front of her, "Yes?"

"Are we understood?"

"You are understood."

"Great!" Gary slapped his hands together, "You can go now… Breakfast is at 9:30. Hope you like French toast…"

"Gare uses a special, secret ingredient in his French toast…" Becky cooed.

"D'aw… It's really nothing… Just a little cinnamon, brown sugar, nutmeg…" He blushed, giggling, "And love."

Wednesday had always considered herself a fan of torment… An _aficionado_ , if you will.

But this? This was just plain cruel.

* * *

 **Sooo if you liked it, fav, follow, and review.**

 **If you didn't like it, suck my ass (jk I would never make you do that, I love you too much).**

 **Also pray for me bc I have a drug test on monday and i really dont want to get grounded.**


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